Husbands' Guide to a Healthy Marriage...

Our code:

1. Fine: This is the word we use to end an argument when we are right and you need to shut up.
2. Five Minutes: If we're getting dressed, this means at least half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine. (See #1)
4. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
5. Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means we think you are an idiot and wonder why were are wasting our time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)
6. That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man! That's okay means we want you to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
7. Thanks: A woman thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome.
8. Whatever: This is our way of saying, "You suck!"
9. Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that we have told you to do several times, but we are now doing ourself . This will later result in you asking 'What's wrong?' For our response refer to #3.

Now, men, don't say you haven't been warned! I'm just trying to help by passing this on. You should know by now, "If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!" :)